The Art of Selective Oversharing: How to Stay Private in a World That Wants All Your Business

We live in an age where everyone’s highlight reel is just a scroll away. And while transparency is trending, there’s a quiet power in privacy. I stumbled across a Threads post that cracked me up and cracked the code:

“THE SECRET TO BEING A PRIVATE PERSON is to overshare dumb STUFF so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.” Credit: @notyourr.anushka on Threads

Listen—this is not just internet wisdom. It’s a strategy. 

So today, I’m breaking down the art of being “mysteriously real,” how to embrace selective vulnerability, and why curating your openness is the ultimate form of self-protection and power.

What Is Selective Oversharing?

Let’s be clear: this is not about being fake. It’s about having boundaries with flair. Selective oversharing means you give people something—just not the thing.

You tell them about the fact that you just spilled oat milk all over your car seat (again), that you’ve ranked every kind of Trader Joe’s frozen dumpling, or that you once cried during a commercial. You make them laugh, relate, and feel like they know you.

But when it comes to your heartbreaks, your healing, your goals, your next move? Crickets.

That’s the balance.

Why It Works (And Why It’s Not Manipulative)

Some folks might say it’s “dishonest” to be chatty online while keeping your deepest truths tucked away. But I say it’s smart. Here's why:

• You protect your peace. Not everything sacred needs an audience.

• You control the narrative. People feel “close” without actually knowing the real you.

• You stay unpredictable. They think they’ve got you figured out, but they don’t.

And let’s be real—some people only want access to your business so they can gossip, compete, or copy. Let them think your deepest secret is that you hate cold pizza.

How to Master the Art (Without Feeling Fake)

1. Pick your distractions.
   Choose quirky, harmless tidbits to share—daily routines, snack obsessions, your beef with autocorrect. These become your “decoy details.”

2. Make the mundane magical.
   Tell stories like you’re the main character. Turn the simple into entertaining. This gives your audience connection without intimacy.

3. Keep your power moves in the vault.
   That job application, relationship rekindling, or spiritual awakening? It can wait. Let them find out after the glow-up.

4. Know your intention.
   Don’t share to impress or confess. Share because it’s fun, freeing, and a filter for who deserves more.

Private ≠ Distant

Being private doesn’t mean being cold or disconnected. It just means you’re intentional. You can still be warm, expressive, and full of life—without turning your soul into content.

You don’t owe the world your process. Sometimes, you’re still figuring things out. Sometimes, silence is how you honor what’s sacred.

Final Thoughts: Be Loud About the Little Stuff, Quiet About the Big Stuff

Let them know you love your dog, hate folding laundry, and think coconut water tastes like betrayal. But don’t give them the play-by-play of your spiritual transformation or your five-year plan.

The mystery is the brand.

The peace is the prize.

And the overshare? Just good PR.

Tell Me Below:

What’s your favorite “decoy detail” you love to share? Or what's something you’ll never post about, no matter how real it gets?